just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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