does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
