dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
