Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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