Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Who died my cat blue again?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
