I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
