yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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