i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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