is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
