I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize