You made me cry and you don't even care
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
one might say we're banned from that church
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
