I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
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i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
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He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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