I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
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grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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