Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
