We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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