You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
