We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
