Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
