Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
