Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
