saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
