she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
