are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
