Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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