I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
