He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
