What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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