Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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