I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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