Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
