So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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