Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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