yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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