My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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