So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize