I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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