I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
