The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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