how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
