I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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