I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
