pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
They took my balls.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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