he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
