moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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