shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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