Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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