oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
