Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
