One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
