I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
