i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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