I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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