surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
