she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
