"it" just moved
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
