have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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