Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
