The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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