I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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