Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
