what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I need to stop coming to work sober
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
