your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize