I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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