weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
